Full Moon Fever: Raw Cacao + Coconut Cream Moon Cakes

Moon Cakes

Entertaining a cabal of discriminating raw vegan occultists this full moon? Perhaps you’ve a coven of rogue astronomers to impress, and don’t fancy making the same old edible space diorama out of cocktail weenies and day-glo jello planets. Or do you have a hankering to sequester yourself in your homestead for a Cosmos marathon this full moon weekend, and haven’t the foggiest notion what to serve amongst bong rips and tumblers of gypsy wine?! Fret not, kitchen witches! All of the full moon fabulousness you can stuff into one raw dessert is contained HEREIN:

Mooncakes

These moon cakes are marvels of opulent coconut cashew cream and diabolical chocolate enchantment. Surely to please raw foodists and opinionated omnivores alike, they can be served up as a mundane dessert OR consecrated for ritual, adding a sympathetic zing to your full moon sabbat. They freeze majestically if sealed in glass Tupperware and gingerly defrosted. For an elaborate rite, you can enchant each cookie phase with a particular intention that you wish to cultivate over the course of a moon cycle, and ingest each by each as she waxes and wanes in the sky. I always add bits and bobbles of mojo to my kitchen witchery, and sympathetic potions and herbs could easily be sprinkled in the cake batter. A brew of magically enchanted tea could even be used in lieu of the coconut water, if you don’t mind capricious results. Otherwise, stick faithfully to the following:

FULL MOON FROSTING

  • 2 Cups Cashews, raw and unsalted. You’ll want to soak them for a few hours in purified water until soft, discarding the soaking water before adding to the blender.

  • 1 Coconut, including ¼ cup of the coconut water and all of the meat scooped.

  • ¾ Cup Coconut Butter. We’re sweet on Artisana Raw Coconut Butter at our homestead, but any will do.

  • ½ Cup Agave Nectar or Raw Coconut Nectar

  • 1 Vanilla Bean, split and scraped like a boss.

Daintily pile your assemblage into a Vitamix, or suitable blender with Beast Mode settings (heads up- this will MURDER a regular blender). You’ll have to put in some austere elbow grease to get a smooth consistency, comprised of plunging and stirring on the regular. Be patient- it will come! Once you’ve finessed a felicitous blender of frosting, refrigerate to set until your cookies are ready to frost.

RAW CACAO MOON CAKES

  • 3 Cups Almond Flour

  • ½ Cup Coconut Oil

  • ½ Cup Agave Nectar or Coconut Nectar

  • ½ Cup Raw Cacao Powder

  • Dash of Sea Salt

Corral your cake constituents in a food professor, and pulse until dough-like. Roll out your dough on a sheath of wax paper, until you finesse an orb of chocolatey goodness from your fingers. Procure a rolling pin (or make one out of an empty beer bottle turned on its side), and roll out the dough until it is roughly ¼ inch thick. If you find the dough is sticking like crazy to the wax paper, you can grease a lil’ coconut oil over your surface and fingers. Cut out your moons carefully with a circular cookie cutter, shiv, or the mouth of a suitably shaped cup. Set for a spell in the fridge, and then frost your best gibbous’ and crescents using cumulus clouds of lush coconut cream. Serve immediately, or freeze in glass Tupperware to enjoy periodically along with the phases of the moon. ☾⚫☽

Tonic Truffles

Botanarchy Tonic Truffles

In the midst of a tantrum of Henry Miller, Nina Simone and torrential downpour, I decided it would only be apt to indulge in some raw trufflery to match my dark and stormy mood. Herbal truffles taste like sleeping in a field of wild yarrow and waking up to a steaming mug of chocolate-laced morning dew. I taught these ecstatic orbs of chocolate bliss in a cooking class over the weekend with Sara Pettitt, L.Ac. They would be dashing nestled in a vintage tin and gussied up with ribbons for holiday gifts!

Combine the following equipage in a Cuisinart, process until well-mixed, then roll into little balls. Store in a sealed jar away from heat, or in the fridge if you’re so inclined.

1 cup coconut butter, warmed up to a sultry melt on the stove
¾ cup raw cacao powder
4 Tbsp raw agave or honey: If you’re a high roller-which I ain’t- Manuka Honey would be divine
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise & scooped for its ambrosial, aromatic marrow

4 drops of medicinal-grade essential oil 

Tried & true favorites include Rose Geranium, Blood Orange, Bergamot Mint, Frankincense, Vanilla, Lavender, Coffee & Peppermint

The key to ‘medicinal grade’ oils is to know your source. Most commercial oils are not up to snuff, shoddily suspended in toxic carrier oils and distilled using commercial solvents. These are dandy for perfumery, but their molecules are inherently discordant- do not ingest! Medicinal grade oils are 100% pure plant manna. Distilling essential oils the old-fangled way liberates the soul of the plant matter, producing an exquisitely refined product to provoke nonpareil religious experience (I’m totally serious here). They are, in a word, transcendent. Bow graciously before their power. 

Most of my oils are from John Steele of Lifetree Aromatix. John is a humble, antiquated gentleman scholar who does his best to remain inconspicuous on the internet (hats off to you!). A true Renaissance gent, John’s an Archaeologist, Aromatherapist, shaman, mentor, comrade of Terence McKenna, and all around alchemist of the arcane who has the supremely enviable task of traversing the world for ethnobotanical treasures. To get your paws on his epic catalogue of personally-sourced plant manna from blessed bogs and sacred spaces, contact Lifetree Aromatix at (818) 986-0584. I also adore Floracopeia and Alchemica Botanica, should you be so inclined.

Remember to use only high quality essential oils, and do your research on safety- anything labeled ‘Absolute’ is for perfumery, not epicurianery! Not to be consumed whilst pregnant or breastfeeding, of course.

Enjoy chocolate with garlands of gusto in radiant health!