Spring Equinox Yoni Egg Meditation

My most cherished qigong ritual you can use to bro down with the nascent magic of your Ovarian Palace and align with the potent gestational power of the shifting spring season. Throw a yoni egg in the mix to add a hefty dose of fertile spring mojo and cosmic egg medicine!

1. Sit quietly with the eyes closed in a comfortable seated position, with the hands in Yoni Mudra, forming a downward triangle over the ovaries. 

2. Begin by doing a few rounds of Ujjayi ‘throat breathing’, rasping the breath over the throat, making an ocean-like sound with your tongue resting on your palate, mouth closed and lips soft.

3. Focus your loving attention on the ovaries until you feel their energy expand and become warm. 

4. As you breathe in, gently contract the opening to the yoni using your kegel muscles, and as you breathe out relax the muscles. Use your mind, breath, and muscles to do this gently. This motion draws qi and energy into the Ovarian Palace (the Taoist name for the womb, essentially the mid-point between ovaries), allowing more and more qi to gather here with each out breath.

5. Continue pumping qi into the Ovarian Palace using your yoni muscles, and begin to collect the warm energy in your ovaries like a vessel filling with honey.

6. As this energy builds, you can start to allow the Ovarian Qi to flow down to the perineum, and then gently pump this qi up the back of the body to the brain. 

7. Spiral this potent qi inside the brain to allow it to charge up all the master glands. Spiral 9 times counter clockwise and then 9 times clockwise, breathing normally. Don’t feel the need to be too exact about this. Experiment with the energy in a way that feels natural and organic.

8. When you feel the energy potently spiraling in the brain, on an out-breath, allow the qi to flow back down the front midline, and either send it around the orbit again, or finish by gathering and storing the qi into the womb.

9. Breathe deeply, smiling unconditional love into the Ovarian Palace.

🌷

A Magical Bath Ritual for the Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox

Amongst the ancient Orphic cults of Hellenistic Greece, Protogonos was a beautiful, golden-winged, hermaphroditic deity, the Primordial Being hatched from the serpent-entwined Cosmic Egg. This proverbial ‘Orphic Egg’ was the source of the entirety of the universe, and Protogonos was the uroboric lightbringer, emerging from Chaos bursting with golden life. His name means “bring to light,” “manifest,” and "make appear,” the seed of all magic. To Carl Jung, he represented the generative force of all nature: 

“He is the magnificence of all renewed suns. / He is the joy at every birth. / He is the blooming flowers. / He is the velvety butterfly’s wing. / He is the scent of blooming gardens that fills the nights.’ First-Born and Eros (Love) — being the seed of gods and men.”

The Vernal Equinox, dank with the scent of its own blooming gardens, is rearing its leafy, crowned head this year on March 20th. This is traditionally a time to mark the coming of Spring and the bursting feracity of the land through ritualistic rebirth and the honoring of fertility gods & goddesses. Beyond the orphic thaumaturgy of the Hellenists, the ancients en masse would celebrate the fruitfulness & fecundity of this time of year through the worship of a talismanic egg, decorated and offered as gifts to bring blessings of abundance in the coming year. Easter is the progeny of all this pagan gaiety, albeit an impossibly wan re-appropriation of ancient fertility worship that is conspicuously lacking in the sex and sorcery of its progenitors. Eggs, ribald rabbits, jubilant parades, and resurrection are all aflutter this time of year, without the context of what these archetypes conjured for their worshipers. 

One popular tale of the Germanic origins of Easter eggs centers around the goddess Ostara, from which Easter takes its name. Ostara is said to have found a wounded bird upon the ground late in winter. To save its life, she transformed it into a hare, but, as legend states, “the transformation was not a complete one. The bird took the appearance of a hare but retained the ability to lay eggs…the hare would decorate these eggs and leave them as gifts to Ostara.”Cosmic eggs laid by an amalgamated winged hare?! Don’t mind if I do!

In the Christianized version of Easter, Jesus is the only one that gets to resurrect, and we are all left slaving on the hamster wheel of our respective pedestrian prisons. Here’s a seasonal magical ritual you can use to resurrect qualities lacking from your present state of existence, and bro-down with your inner hermaphroditic, golden-winged Protogonos. This year, the equinox aligns with a total solar eclipse (!!!) and new moon in Pisces, the PERFECT time to tap into generative powers and hatch your own cosmic egg. Using a bathtub, some eggs, and a little moxie, you can launch into a shamanic exploration of emerging from Chaos re-born, dissolving into primordial nothingness and re-constellating inside a Cosmic Egg containing the raw DNA of a new, intentional universe. Because how the heck else would you herald the coming of Spring?  

Materials

Bathtub, Jacuzzi, or Hot Springs: If you opt for Hot Springs, I am swooning at your feet. 

Six Black Eggs: Symbolic of cosmogenesis from deep within the black void of Chaos, these six eggs hearken to the creation of the universe. In Buddhist cosmology, the universe is represented by the number six. Six is the sum of the four cardinal directions, plus the top and bottom, containing all matter within its orbit. The black eggs are also emblematic of the opening stanza of the Orphic Hymn to Protogonos:

O mighty Protogonos (First-Begotten), hear my prayer, twofold, egg-born, and wandering through the air; bull-roarer, glorying in thy golden wings, from whom the race of Gods and mortal springs.

In advance of your equinox bath, have a crafting day and dye a few ‘equinox eggs’ with dark Easter egg dye or chalkboard paint. Take some time to meditate upon the qualities you wish to call forth from the honeysuckled breezes blowing forth from Springtime’s lair. Upon each egg, use a piece of chalk to draw a different symbol or sigil, encoding a desire you wish to manifest in your newly conjugated universe. Dream big- Spring is on your side with an epic eclipse, and lusty joie de vivre for miles! 

Six White Candles: The six white candles correspond with the six black eggs, and glow with the formative seed of creation, conjuring Protogonos as the personification of light:

‘Tis thine from darksome mists to pure the sight, all-spreading splendour, pure and holy light.

Matches: To light the six white candles, obvi.

Myrrh: The sacred fumigant burnt by Orphic cults to honor and invoke Protogonos. You can use this to smudge and purify your space.

Procedure

1.     Prepare your temple space in the bathing chamber. Arrange your eggs upon a makeshift altar, and draw yourself a scolding hot bath, to which you can add any florid & fancy accoutrements you see fit. The bath should mimic the primordial waters of Earth from which the Orphic Egg was hatched, a cosmic slop of crude energy in a vast, untethered nothingness. So maybe ditch the rosy bath beads for some Dead Sea salts or volcanic clay.      

2.     Find yourself a suitable soundtrack of swampy, nebulous depth, and broadcast it loudly in the bathroom temple. I love Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'Lyeh Wgah'nagl Fhtagn by the artist Cthulhu {Biomechanical}. You can find this online here. It’s a tremendously lovely amorphous drone that invokes a sense of vast, primeval murk, and a palpable sense of terror & possibility permeates any space into which it’s blared.

3.     Consecrate your bathroom & body temple by smudging a censer of Myrrh, the sacred fumigant of Protogonos. Envision the tendrils of the etheric smoke blurring the lines of your current reality.

4.    Before submerging yourself in the primordial waters, kneel in reverence at the foot of the bath, and incant The Orphic Hymn to Protogonos, invoking him with spontaneous ecstatic movement:

To Protogonos

{Fumigation from Myrrh}

O mighty Protogonos (First-Begotten), hear my prayer, twofold, egg-born, and wandering through the air; bull-roarer, glorying in thy golden wings, from whom the race of Gods and mortal springs. 

Erikapaios, celebrated power, ineffable, occult, all-shining flower!

‘Tis thine from darksome mists to pure the sight, all-spreading splendour, pure and holy light; hence, Phanes, called the glory of the sky, on waving pinions through the world you fly. 

Priepos, dark-eyed splendour, thee I sing, genial, all-prudent, ever blessed king. With joyful aspect on these rites divine and holy consecration propitious shine!

5.     Immersing yourself in the black waters of Chaos, use all the meditative powers your can muster to coax forth a deep trance. The most powerful trance states spontaneously devolve into an exploration of body without form, trudging through the ethereal molasses of the waters as unconjugated debris. Let chaos inhabit your form, and evoke itself through you with ecstatic contortions that defy reality, obliterating this world and its prohibitive natural laws. 

6.    From this emptiness, begin to imagine your body morphing into an egg… the egg form ensconcing your body in nebulous tendrils, suspending you as an embryo in dark, chthonic solution. Allow yourself to become strangely buoyant, and bob in the water as if taken hostage by the undulations beneath you. Imagine yourself taking shape for the very first time, the billowing tumult of your soundtrack chanting you into form. 

7.     When you feel complete, break through your egg, feeling through the blackness for the matchbook on your altar. Light each candle one by one, the explosion of light jolting you into form, like Protogonos breaking through the Orphic Egg as an all-shining flower with golden wings. 

8.     One by one, take each egg into your hands, exploring the sacred symbols scrawled upon them in deep trance, until they dance off of the egg and impregnate themselves deep within your consciousness. At the apex of communion, drop the egg into the cosmic slop, the waters washing over the symbols and bathing the egg in newness (like reverse Easter egg dyeing!). The rite should take on a quality of levity, with shining radiance breaking through the thick mud. 

9.    When you feel fully present and thoroughly new, step out of the waters and bask in the glow of your sparkling newness. The world is your oyster- Happy Equinox, radiant beings!