Spring Equinox Yoni Egg Meditation

My most cherished qigong ritual you can use to bro down with the nascent magic of your Ovarian Palace and align with the potent gestational power of the shifting spring season. Throw a yoni egg in the mix to add a hefty dose of fertile spring mojo and cosmic egg medicine!

1. Sit quietly with the eyes closed in a comfortable seated position, with the hands in Yoni Mudra, forming a downward triangle over the ovaries. 

2. Begin by doing a few rounds of Ujjayi ‘throat breathing’, rasping the breath over the throat, making an ocean-like sound with your tongue resting on your palate, mouth closed and lips soft.

3. Focus your loving attention on the ovaries until you feel their energy expand and become warm. 

4. As you breathe in, gently contract the opening to the yoni using your kegel muscles, and as you breathe out relax the muscles. Use your mind, breath, and muscles to do this gently. This motion draws qi and energy into the Ovarian Palace (the Taoist name for the womb, essentially the mid-point between ovaries), allowing more and more qi to gather here with each out breath.

5. Continue pumping qi into the Ovarian Palace using your yoni muscles, and begin to collect the warm energy in your ovaries like a vessel filling with honey.

6. As this energy builds, you can start to allow the Ovarian Qi to flow down to the perineum, and then gently pump this qi up the back of the body to the brain. 

7. Spiral this potent qi inside the brain to allow it to charge up all the master glands. Spiral 9 times counter clockwise and then 9 times clockwise, breathing normally. Don’t feel the need to be too exact about this. Experiment with the energy in a way that feels natural and organic.

8. When you feel the energy potently spiraling in the brain, on an out-breath, allow the qi to flow back down the front midline, and either send it around the orbit again, or finish by gathering and storing the qi into the womb.

9. Breathe deeply, smiling unconditional love into the Ovarian Palace.


Yoni 🌟Yoga

Yoni Eggs

If you long to be initiated into the Mystery School of the Pelvic Floor, do yourself a favor and dive beave first into a Yoni Egg practice. As a dearly devoted DIY gynecologist and eminent vaginamancer, believe me when I say that vaginal kung fu is real and it will change your life one kegel at a time. I started my Yoni Egg practice with this glowing orb of sweet seraphic rose quartz, with the intention of bro-ing down with my pubo-coccygeus muscles to dive deeper into my meditation and Ashtanga yoga practices. The goal was to cultivate and refine my Mula Bandha, the pelvic root lock that begins at the perineum and extends inwards to the deepest embryonic abdominal muscles, locking all that juicy qi into the body and moving that sweet auric nectar from the tailbone up the spine. While my initial motivation was to be able to hold poses deeper and longer and leap into inversions with sprightly grandeur, I soon came to understand that the pelvic floor is quite literally the cradle of our nascent magic. By mastering its mercurial muscular mirth and learning to control it at will, you can harness its regenerative power to accomplish the impossible (and up the #orgasm ante while you're at it, for the love of infinite ecstasy). Yoni eggs have a rich tradition in Taoist alchemy & medicine (peregrinate upon some Mantak Chia if you'd like a primer in this Jade Egg juju), with yoni eggs being used to improve physical and spiritual health by moving sexual energy inward and upward, alchemically transforming it into germinal spiritual mana in your body's own alchemical altar. On the western front, toning the urigenital and pelvic diaphragms helps ease childbirth and menstruation, prevents organ prolapse, tonifies the sex organs, aids in postpartum recovery, ignites the libido, stops urinary incontinence, and alights witch powers heretofore unspoken. Vaginamancy and Yoni Eggs: coming soon to Botanarchy. 🔮